Welcome to EHFAR®

ehfar.com is the official destination for people who believe “EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON” and connect with the EHFAR® philosophy.

surround yourself with positive people

“The heart already knows… What the mind can only dream of… Trust your heart.”
- Unknown

Kid’s, this is the story of “How I met your mother.”

It was a Friday, and Groundhog’s day in 2001. I spent most of the day in Chicago for work. There was something special in the air. I now know what it was. Traveling in my cab to airport to catch a 5p Flight to Minneapolis I remember having a fun conversation with my best childhood friend, who was gathering with others at my house to greet me. Since it was my birthday weekend, we were going to go out on the town to celebrate. Most of us were single, so that adds another element of excitement to the mix.

I showed up at my house, 20 minutes North of the airport and to my surprise were 5 of my best buddies, big smiles and all, ready to get the evening started and get downtown. I showered, dressed and we were on our way.

Something was still in the air. A 70′s cover band, “Boogie Wonderland” was playing at one of my favorite music venues, “The FineLine” on 1st Avenue in downtown Minneapolis. I remember going to the 2nd floor balcony with the boyz and meeting a few more friends as well. We had about 10 boyz in our group that evening, having a few cocktails, doing whatever it is that boyz do on a Friday night.

I’ve never been afraid, or had a problem with approaching the ladies. I’m sure I’ve made a fool of myself a time or two. I saw 3 nice looking ladies dancing to beat the band near the railing on the 2nd floor. I decided to walk over. I asked the ladies, “Does anyone dance.” One of the ladies, Michelle, grabs her friend, Jessie, and throws her at me. In slow motion, something special “WAS” happening… Jessie launches forward, and about ready to do a face-plant from Michelle’s force, I lunge forward and save her from hitting the floor, and a lifelong of unpleasant dentist visits. We exchanged small talk, re-taught her how to jitterbug and the rest is history and none of your business.

At the end of the evening, the most beautiful woman in the world in slick red pants was giving me her business card. Talk about the use of technology, I emailed her the next Tuesday and mentioned how much of a pleasure it was to meet her. We went out that Friday night and small boutique restaurant, where I later proposed to her, exactly 1 year from the day I met her – Groundhog Day.

What I didn’t know until years later is that they had seen us group of boyz earlier in the evening. Jessie had also noticed me. We laugh about this story today. Yes, it was the fall that sealed the deal in my mind, but really what sealed the deal was having good friends around us. Had our friends not been able to visit and get along that evening, we would not have sealed any deals, nor exchanges of business cards. We were brought together for a reason – through our friends.

So Kid’s, always surround yourself with good people, good friends and you’ll be just fine. And, if a true friend throws you someday, have faith that he/she may be doing it for a reason, and somebody may catch you.

My mother raised my sister and I all by herself.  She took on the roll of provider for over fifteen years.  During that time she sacrificed everything for us, including true love.  My sister and I both moved out and moved on to college and then careers of our own.  So, like so many things in life, when she was least expecting it mom finally feel in love.  Her beau was an unlikely character.  He was almost the polar opposite of mom, but somehow they worked perfectly.  Seven years ago they married, and every time I saw mom she glowed like I’d never remembered.  Then tragedy struck….

In Fall of 2007 my stepfather was injured in a motorcycle accident.  I was one of the first phone calls my mother made.  You could just tell her heart was broken.  For more than a week I drove hundreds of miles round trip to be there with mom.  After a week he finally passed.  Like any person who has gone through a loss, she was scared, confused, and genuinely empty from head to toe.  All my sister and I could think was how unfair it was that the woman who was so deserving of all the love she found was left alone.

The day of the funeral arrived.  Friends and family from the country came together.  Afterwards a small group of family came together at the house on the lake.  It was late fall and the water was icy cold.  I jumped into the lake anyway.  You’d have to know my mom to understand how shocked I was when I heard her running down the dock behind me.  Still dressed in her finest church clothes, she did a cannonball into the lake.  I’ll never forget how she floated on her back in that freezing cold water and screamed, “Lord, I can feel my soul.”

In the months that have passed, mom has slowly healed from losing the love of her life.  She will never forget the happiness he brought into her life; how quickly he came into her life and how quickly he left.  As I pondered on the “everything happens for a reason” topic, I can’t help but imagine that the educational program my mom is now developing on the importance of wearing a motorcycle helmets is encouraged by the love she shared.

Being introduced to EHFAR 2 years ago changed my life!

I was working in a dead-end job in Fargo-Moorhead, when I first heard about EHFAR. They worked w/ me to find an employer that fit my needs & goals. Since then I have been working for a prominent financial company in the Twin Cities, and have been promoted twice. The most recent promotion is a big one. Placing me in an Executive role w/ the company in California. While working for my current employer I also met a girl. Who, on this past Friday night I proposed to!

 So, not only did EHFAR find the exactly right role for me … they helped me find my future bride!

 What more could you ask for?!

 Thank you EHFAR!

Norris, who was a nature artist and bow hunter, had died 5 years earlier.  Now we were putting his wife in a hospice. It was North Memorial residential hospice. Each room in this hospice has a picture window that faces a lake and the beds are positioned to take in this view. Not more than an hour after we settled her in her bed, a beautiful eight point buck came up and stared at her window. The nurses said that they had seen many doe, but never a buck. The buck gracefully walked away and we did not see him again. Two weeks later, the nurse woke us (by now we were by her side day and night) and told us that it would be within the hour that she would leave us. Less that thirty minutes later she took her last breath. It was 1:48 a.m. At 2:00 a.m. a buck (the same buck?) came into the yard. There was a light snow and that buck just held his head high. He stayed with us for two hours while we grieved and took our own deep breathes as it had been a long struggle. We told the nurses that they could call the mortuary, and the buck walked away. We are confident that Norris had come to take the love of his life. Now, two weeks ago in this year 2007, an eight point buck stood in our back yard, in Golden Valley! It had been ten years since Norris died. We are confident that he is in a good and beautiful place.

We’ve all experienced the feeling of getting it. That math problem, crossword puzzle or the $1,000,000 question on Millionaire – the answer was simple. What if you thought that you had the answer to a bigger problem? What if it was a national or global problem? This is where I found myself recently.

Two years ago, my family experienced a life changing event. After doctoring for digestive problems all of her life, my wife just had surgery on her pancreas. She was told that she would eventually need a pacemaker implanted in her stomach and would also need a pancreatic transplant at some point. This was pretty harsh news for someone in their mid 20’s. Plus, this was coming from a highly acclaimed specialist – an expert! Who were we to question this diagnosis? My wife is an RN by trade, but she wasn’t a digestive tract expert. And me, I was educated in finance. How could we refute this diagnosis? Some of the problems that she had up to that point were: severe gastritis, gastro-esophageal reflux disease, hiatal hernia, stomach ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, dysfunctional gallbladder (which was later removed), paralyzed stomach and chronic pancreatitis. She was also suffering from migraines and chronic fatigue syndrome. Basically, her mid-section was sore/tender all of the time (more so after meals), she experienced migraine headaches weekly and she was tired most of the time. Whew!

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In July and August of 2005, after taking care of a sick relative for a long time financially, we found ourselves in a very bad situation. We were beginning to realize we would most likely lose everything, including our house.  We had made some decisions that were not so great, but were going to bounce back and survive. The house we were living in was always a negative for us, we were never happy there, didn’t like the neighborhood, yet always made the best of it. My Swedish grandmother, who was my best friend in the world, had died 7 years before, and I always felt that she communicated with me in different ways.

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This is your first game, my child.
I hope you win.
I hope you win for your sake, not mine.
Because winning’s nice.
It’s a good feeling.
Like the whole world is yours.
But, it passes, this feeling.
And what lasts is what you’ve learned.

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Some moments in life grab hold of you. Sometimes these moments are life-changing, but for the most part they are simply reminders. Reminding us to be well, live life to its fullest, laugh just a little more and love each other.

A moment like this one had struck me in 2001. I was just finishing up my workout at a Health Club in downtown Minneapolis and felt energized with what I had accomplished that day. I was on my way to a better self.

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Where to begin….what story to tell…there are so many!! So I’ll share the first time I came into contact with the acronym EHFAR. It was January 13, 1999 and a big snow storm had hit the twin cities area on the first day of my first job after college with Lutheran Brotherhood (now Thrivent Financial). I lived with my sister (who also worked for LB) and we were car pooling together. We just couldn’t get moving any faster in the slow traffic so I was late to my first day of training with approx 12-15 other new people. In I walk, late and everyone turns to look at me…how embarrassing!! I sit and begin listening, learning, and meeting new friends. One of which consisted of Justin Pickar. As the day grew on and the training turned into weeks of being with the same people I learned more about the EHFAR philosophy. A philosophy I completed understood and agreed with in my own life. The year 1999 was one big EHFAR experience and here are some small stories of how EHFAR affected me…

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The phrase “Everything Happens for a Reason� has always played a big role in my life. As far back as I can remember, I have lived by this philosophy and have found that I tend to associate myself with those that also live by this motto. It was not until my freshman year of college that I really learned its true meaning, and the power behind such a simple phrase. You see, it was during my first year of college that I was experiencing some difficulties adjusting to the college lifestyle. I was a human tackling dummy for the varsity football team and as a student; I was spending many late nights in the library doing homework that never seemed to end. It was also during this time that my economics professor set me up with an interview with a local financial institution for an internship. The interview went well and I was to start as an intern for this company as soon as the school year was up. Before I knew it, the school year was over and I was heading off to what was referred to as “Intern University�, where I was going to learn the “ins and outs� of what it takes to succeed in the business world. Sessions started early and ended late, but still I had to find time to make it to the gym to stay in shape for the following football season. I would have never of thought that going to the gym to condition for that next football season would change my perspective on life forever.

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“Obstacles are challenges for winners and excuses for losers.”
-Gentlehands by M.E. Kerr

“It is a matter of spirit, not strength. It is a matter of doing your best each little moment. There’s never a break. You must have desire, a very intense desire to keep going.”
-Janet Guthrie

Thanks Rob A.

be4neXt is NOW,
and now is the time
for change, and
to love, to live and to laugh.
-Justin Pickar
 
www.be4next.com

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
- George Washington

“A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.”
- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893-1986), Hungarian Nobel Prize Winner in Physiology or Medicine

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

- Unknown

“Everything in moderation; nothing in excess.”
- Ancient Greek adage

“Happiness is not a possession to be prized. It is a quality of thought, a state of mind.”
- Daphne du Maurier (1907-1989), English Novelist, Biographer, and Playwright

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done. But he with a chuckle replied that “maybe it couldn’t”, but he would be one who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin on his face. If he worried he hit it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn’t be done, and he did it.
Somebody scoffed: “Oh you’ll never do that; at least no one ever has done it”; but he took off his coat and he took off his hat, and the firt thing we knew he’d begun it. With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, without any doubting or quiddit, he started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn’t be done, and he did it.
There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done. There are thousands to prophesy failure. There are thousands to point out to you, one by one, the dangers that wait to assail you. But just buckle in with a bit of a grin. Just take off your coat and go to it. Just start to sing as you tackle the thing that “Cannot be done”, and you’ll do it.
- Edgar A. Guest

“Hang in there. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
- Thomas Edison

“God sends many people into my life. Some come only for a moment; others, for months or even years. Perhaps God will use me as a conduit to show them the good news of his son. For this reason, I believe their presence in my life is by no means a coincidence.”
- Share Jesus Without Fear, William Fay

You feel quiet and overcome by the emotions withheld from in, forget the morel obligation to which you stand for… Nonetheless stand for what you believe. Dream the dream and achieve THE what you deserve. You are one with one so I know the feelings you deal with. I love you, you’re a friend for life, and you’re the bomb!
- Andy Fields

“Be unafraid of the new. Your life is a collection of moments, each one leading you to the next beautiful discovery.”
- Unknown

Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation)
there is one elmentary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sort of things occur to helpone that would never
otherwise have occured.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favor
all manner of unforeseen incidents
and meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamed
would have come his way.
I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

Quotation from The Scottish Himalayan Expedition,
by W. H. Murray pub. J. M. Dent & Sons, Ltd., 1951